i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
