how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
