I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize