when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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