Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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