he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
