I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
