Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize