Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
