shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize