Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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