YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
