I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
