direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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