Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
