did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
