Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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