fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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