The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
