toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize