You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
