oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
