CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
is wine microwaveable?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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