we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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