Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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