I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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