ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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