just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
