btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
