i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
