I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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