Pants 0. Shit 1.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize