Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
