Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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