the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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