DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Someone came in the potted fern
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
