You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
