just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
