Ambien. No doubt about it.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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