the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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