I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
