The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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