my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
