Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
