Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
my poor anus
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize