party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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