it hurts more in the daytime
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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