i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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