Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Apparently you make a good broom.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
