This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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