wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
