it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
FUCK WHALES
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize