Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
