the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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