I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
