This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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