My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
