forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm just crazy horny about you
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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