I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
