alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
