I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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