IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I didn't notice because vodka
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
