WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
