OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
