I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
