You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Even my vagina gasped.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
