You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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