Welp...herpes.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
