I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
