I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
