so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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