My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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